The dreaded reinfection

A couple of weeks ago, I got COVID again. How it went this time, what was different, and how I managed the fear of getting thrown back into Long COVID

I’m not a doctor, nor a scientist, and the following is not intended as medical advice. Please always listen to your body, and always ask your medical providers what’s right for you.

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For most people, the risk of contracting COVID is an afterthought at this point. It’s not common to test, mask or distance anymore when people are sick (or, as Amy over at The Tonic put it this week, the train has left the station). And yet, if you are reading this, it’s likely that getting reinfected is still a very big deal for you, with potentially severe consequences to your health. So I wanted to share my experience, in case it helps someone get through it.

Worrying about reinfection, and then not

There was a time where getting reinfected with COVID was quite scary for me, given that the virus had taken almost everything from me the last time. Particularly while I was still in the most severe phase, the consequences of a reinfection could have been dire. The one thing that doctors had seemed to agree on was “make sure you don’t get reinfected under any circumstances”.

And then over the last year, my fear of a new infection gradually faded (and I feel very lucky to be able to say that). This has partly been a side effect of recovery - as my nervous system and immune system function have normalized along with every other body function, I’ve gained confidence in my body’s ability to handle a new infection.

The other part was deliberate work on the fear (more on that below). So recently, I haven’t been particularly worried about it anymore. I knew it was going to be a matter of time, and I figured that I would be fine. And yet, of course, you never know until you know.

A couple of weeks ago, it finally happened.

The most important thing first: I wasn’t nearly as sick as the last time during the acute infection, and it fully passed within days. Now that that’s out of the way, I know many of you have more questions and want to know in detail, and if so, keep reading. I also added a list of tips at the end, and how I prepared myself both logistically and emotionally.

To be clear, my intent here isn’t to make reinfection sound harmless - I am well aware of the numbers, and understand that the risks are there with each and every infection. My intention here is to show that reinfection doesn’t have to mean a setback, and that it can go differently, too, and that there are factors you can influence.

How bad was getting COVID this time?

It was like a medium to bad cold. Not pleasant obviously, but compared to my last COVID infection, it wasn’t bad at all.

For those of you wanting all the details: Sore throat Sunday night, mild cold symptoms on Monday, then on Tue I felt quite sick and did a home test, which was positive. Wed and Thu still quite sick. Symptoms - congested, running nose, sore throat, mild cough, low appetite, pretty tired (no PEM, just tired). I stayed home curled up under blankets on Tue, Wed, Thu. By Friday, I felt a lot better. I stayed home for another couple of days (Fri, Sat), but I didn’t fully rest anymore. I also went for a couple of short walks then, ramping physical activity back up slowly. On Sunday I felt ready to resume life (no more symptoms, testing negative), and I have felt normal since (that was a week ago). So - just like a regular cold for a healthy person.

What did I do differently this time?

The big difference in my behavior was that I took it easy and didn’t push through. I canceled everything and rested 100%, until I felt back to normal. I cancelled every call, every item on the to do list. I rested more than what “felt necessary”, because I’ve learned the hard way that my personal gauge on that is off (the golden rule of recovery came in handy again). I ordered in and I used up food from my freezer, still eating healthily, to support my body. My friend was ready to bring groceries had it been needed (thanks <3), which meant I didn’t need to think about that, either. I rescheduled online job interviews that my “old self” would have totally rallied for while sick (I now know that no call is important enough to risk my health again, and, btw, they can be rescheduled. Who knew). I also resisted the urge to be “productive” at home while sick, e.g. catching up admin tasks from the couch.

I exclusively did what my body felt like doing for a few days - watching Netflix, listening to music, podcasts, knitting, a lot of sleeping. I tried to find joy in being stuck at home, instead of being annoyed with it or bored. There was even a little dance session by myself in my kitchen. Gotta do what the body feels like!

Once I was feeling better, I ramped up my activity slowly, didn’t go straight back to a full schedule - I did a little more every day, testing the waters. I am still holding off on full-on exercise like swimming, probably for another week or two.

The last time, I did the exact opposite. I did not rest at all the first day (I actually walked 20k steps, after 3 hours of sleep, and then flew across the country, while not yet aware I had COVID), and I didn’t rest enough later, either. I kept pushing through at every opportunity, although I truly thought I was resting. Living by myself, I was still taking care of food etc. the first days (I was barely able to order groceries on an app through the brain fog). A few days later, I already rallied again for both for work and personal things, even though I could not yet walk to the end of the block. Sounds crazy, but being sick was just not a “modus operandi” I had, so it didn’t click for me that I shouldn’t be doing things yet, even as I was feeling on the way up. And, of course, once I did feel a little better, I tried to get back to work way too soon, several times, instead of resting until I felt 100%.

So, to sum it up, I did things rather differently this time.

How did I deal with the fear?

This is an interesting one. As I said above, I haven’t really been worried about reinfection anymore the last months. But I knew, of course, that there was a non-zero possibility that it would throw me back into Long COVID. So I did expect some fears to come up once I was infected, and I was prepared.

A year ago, when I first started being able to be in public indoor spaces regularly again, I made a plan for exactly what I’d do in case of reinfection.

The “reinfection plan” had two parts - first, logistics. What would I actually do, step by step, if it happened. Who to inform so they could help me (in case the initial infection got as bad as last time), who could help with groceries, how to get medication if needed. I didn’t want to get caught off guard again like last time, with my closest friends out of town at the time, or without food in the fridge, nor have to worry or be forced to scramble in any way. Having the steps ready helped me know I’d be able to rest fully if it came to it, which made me less worried ahead of time.

The second part of the plan, emotions - how would I deal with the fears that the reinfection might trigger? The nervous system is deeply intertwined with the immune system, and I now know that being in a fearful or anxious state is counterproductive when your body needs to heal, even if it’s warranted. So I made a plan for how to influence my emotions and thoughts, too. I wrote myself a list of reasons why this infection would go differently than the last one, what I would do differently, and a added a link to a podcast episode which I would listen to again if I’d get worried (linked below).

I had that “emergency plan” as a note in my phone, ready when needed. This is part of why I haven’t been worried the last months - anytime I would, I’d just tell myself “it’s fine, because I have a plan”, and that let me move on from the thought. After doing that a few times, it came up less and less. When I actually did get sick, I never even had to pull up the note. By then, I had planted firmly in my brain that I would be fine, and I didn’t need the reassurance anymore.

In addition to that plan, all the practice of proactively getting my nervous system into a calm state really helped. I can tap into that state again easily at this point (I learned that from Dan Neuffer’s work at ANS Rewire, which I’ve talked about here, among other resources. And my meditation practice of many years has certainly helped, too). While sick, there were a couple of moments when I did think “what if I do get Long COVID again” for a second, and I was able to calm myself immediately.

That way, my nervous system could stay in a parasympathetic state and my body in “healing mode”. I am extremely grateful for that practice.

So, to sum it up - I used the tools I’ve learned. I prepared, and then accepted what was happening, didn’t fight it, and tried to make the best of it (finally, an excuse to watch trashy TV for hours).

Things you can do…

… to prepare yourself

• Make a “logistics” plan, so you are prepared to rest fully. If you live alone - who can help you get medication if needed? Who can get you food? Maybe for you it’s other things - like how can you spend the downtime?

• Make a plan for the emotional side too - how will you stay calm and optimistic? Who can support you with that? What can you do if you (rightly) freak out? What resources can you use?

• Make a list of the things you will do differently this time. Make sure radical rest is on there - 100%, uncompromisingly, immediately, and until you are fully back to baseline

• Make a list of other other reasons as to why it will go easy (e.g. other people’s experiences, a previous infection that went easy). Your brain will look for reasons why it’ll be bad again this time (it’s a well-researched cognitive bias that we all have). Counteract that by seeking out and focusing on the positive information instead.

• Listen to Suzy Bolt’s thoughts around reinfection (the fantastic podcast episode I mentioned above). Seek out other reinfection stories to build up your conviction.

Write it all down, so you can pull it up when you need it.

… when you do get sick

• Remember, you prepared for this. Pull up your plan :)

• Cancel everything for a few days. Everything. Even if it’s “not that bad”.

• Reassess after a few days. As long as you’re not 100%, go back to canceling things. Keep doing this until you’re feeling at least 99%. Not 70%, not 80%. Don’t compromise. Nothing else is as important.

• Get support. Even if you think you can do the groceries, don’t. Let others help you

• Relax and do something you enjoy! Watch some TV. Read a book. Podcasts. Talk to a friend. Focus on joy. Breathe.

• Remember your body will handle this, if you let it. Let it do its job and get out of the way. Lots of people with Long COVID go through reinfection just fine.

• Once you feel fully back to your baseline, start ramping up activity slowly (both physical and cognitive). Go slower than you think you need to.

Lastly, know that even if it does throw you back in your recovery - you’ve gotten this far once, you can do it again.

What I make of it all

Given that the last COVID infection took a year of my life, being just “normal sick” was a surreal experience. Feels funny to say, but I am glad I got it again. I’m happy to have removed that final question mark for myself.

While I was sick, a friend asked me “Knowing what you’ve been through, every day of this must now feel like a triumph?” Yes. That is 100% what it felt like.

I am grateful.

A few days later, back to normal

Curious how you feel about reinfection? Is there anything else you’d like to know? I love to hear from you in the comments!

Sending good vibes to everyone! Wishing you a joyful holiday, if you celebrate. And if you’re in Germany, Frohe Weihnachten!

Nicole